Ending an Ending?

I've almost finished my newest short story. Or perhaps I have finished it, depending on how you look at it. See, the ending that I intended to write isn't yet written, and the end of the scene I wrote last night would make a great ending, if somewhat more depressing (but powerful). So I have to decide whether to end it there or not. I'm very tempted to, based on my instincts. And yet, I almost hate to leave it ended without some snippet of hope.

But maybe if I end it the way I orignally intended, it wouldn't be half as good, you know?

I have a lot to mull over.

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Not Dead Yet...

It's been way too long since I last posted. Do I have an excuse? Eh, not really. I lost my job a few weeks ago, and I just haven't had the heart or the willpower to bother posting on my blog, even though I've been accomplishing a decent amount of writing.

I started a new short story, which I'm almost finished with already. I'd guess that I'm 2/3 of the way through, if not more. And I have some other short story ideas that I've been jotting down for later use. I bought a new short story compendium the other day; it's called Many Bloody Returns, and it features one of my favorite authors, Charlaine Harris, but it also includes Jim Butcher, another author that I've recently started to like a lot, thanks to my husband lending me his Dresden Files books after he finishes them.

Anyway, between that compendium, which I'm still reading, and a couple of other short story collections I have, I find that coming up with workable ideas for short stories is getting easier--but not yet what I would call easy, by any means. I've found myself analyzing them as I read, and I think that it helps. It's nice to know that even though I've never met these authors, they're teaching me and helping me with their writing and they don't even know it. I hope that I can do the same for other writers one day.

But first I have to get published.

I'm working on it, believe me. More to come on that at a later date. My daughter is getting restless and wants to eat.

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Happy Easter!

For all of those who celebrate Easter, I hope that today was a very peaceful and joyous occasion for you. For my own family, we had a good Easter, if a rather uneventful one. And yet, that does not bother me too much. My days are so hectic since I started working again that I can use some peaceful, uneventful weekends. There's time enough for the craziness of easter egg hunts and the like next year, when our daughter is old enough for them.

My daughter is one year old now. She had her birthday last weekend, just before Easter. It is hard to believe that a whole year has gone by already. She's growing up so fast.

In terms of my writing, I haven't been able to do as much as I'd like since my evenings are so hectic after work, but my daughter is starting to sleep until mornings now, and so I'm able to get a little writing in again on some nights. I'm trying really hard to finish up my novel, Anemone's Song, and I'm looking at markets for my short story about the vampire cows. I'm really hoping to get published this year, whether it's a short story or a novel (looking doubtful on this front, given the current pace of my writing), or poetry. I just hope it's soon.

You see, I have really been wanting to re-dye my hair red. I have this obsession with red hair since I think it's so beautiful, and I used to dye it back in college. Long story short, I went back to brown, my natural color, before I got married, and so I've been a brunette for a couple of years or so now. But I really want to dye my hair red again. Only I decided that I won't allow myself to dye my hair again until I get published.

I'm hoping it will serve as extra motivation to get more writing done and to keep plugging away at trying to get published. I'm just afraid that now that I've promised myself that, I'll never have red hair again...

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To Market, To Market...

As I sat down to update this blog and pondered what to write about, my daughter decided that she wanted to climb into my lap and volunteer her services. Being that most people are not fluent in reading baby gibberish, however, the backspace key came quite in handy.

I have been perusing markets to submit my short story to, seeing as it didn't win the contest. I have found some promising leads; one in particular seems like it would be a perfect match. They are not open to new submissions until March 31st, however, so in the meantime, I'm going to go back over my story and see if there's anything I want to change. I felt like I pared my story down so much, cutting out a lot of good description and dialogue, just to meet the word limit for the contest. This particular publication, however, has larger word limits, and so I might add some things back in.

I don't want to add things just for the sake of adding, though. I think I will have to get some outside opinions on this.

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Sour Grapes, Or Honest Assessment?

I started my new job on Monday. The first day was quite rough. Long story...don't ask. But suffice it to say that I felt overwhelmed, and I second-guessed myself about going back to work. Luckily, the week got better, and I am getting the hang of things at the office. My boss told me on Thursday that he was very pleased at how quickly I am learning things. Boy, did I need to hear that! Especially since I felt like I wasn't learning fast enough. I guess it just goes to show that we are our own worst critics sometimes.

The good news is that my writing hasn't fallen completely by the wayside. Despite the dishes, the cooking, and getting the baby fed and put to bed at a decent hour after work, I still manage to do a little writing most nights. Of course, it's usually only a paragraph or a few sentences, but anything helps. It's better than not writing anything at all.

And besides, I've been doing more writing today, now that it's the weekend anyway. Things are looking up for me.

Mostly.

I still have never received any word about my short story that I submitted. So, I went online to the website, and the early results were posted. I did not win either the grand prize or the first place in the category I submitted to. I'm disappointed and frustrated. Especially since I skimmed through the story that won the category I submitted to, and I don't think it is nearly as good as mine. It's certainly not half as creative...and on the risk of sounding snotty, it's well...cliched.

Blah. How do you know when your work is honestly better than someone else's, or when it's just a case of sour grapes?

Well, fine. If they don't want my story, I'll submit it elsewhere. THEIR LOSS!

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They Say No News Is Good News...But Sometimes News Is Just Good News.

Good news! I have a job! I went in for an interview this morning, and I got hired for the position! I'm excited and nervous. I just hope I can meet my boss's expectations. We're starting things from the ground up in some ways, as he is taking over the company since the original owner is retiring. I will be doing office work at an insurance company here in town, and among other things, I will be creating a manual for other people to reference later, on the procedures and systems for everything. Since I know nothing about insurance and I've never put anything like that together before, this is intimidating in some aspects, but he obviously looked past that to my willingess to learn and my ability to learn quickly. And you never know what you can do if you try, do you?

I'm feeling upbeat tonight, though tired. It was a good day. I even did a little writing. Not a whole lot, but a little.

Even a little writing looks like a victory from where I stand today.

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