Bvzwawk-ing my way to fame

If there's such a thing as speed reading, why hasn't someone invented a way to do speed writing? Sure, computers enable (some) people to type (and thus write) really fast, but my fingers can never keep up with my brain on a good day. (Sometimes--let's face it--not even on a slow day.) Besides, I find that the faster I type, the more misspellings and nonexistent terms like "bvzwawk" show up.


All of this wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that the gibberish so little resembles English that it's hard to figure what I wrote five seconds before, much less an hour later when I want to edit.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could will your ideas onto the page? Sure, it would be a big, confusing mess, but at least it would be on the page more quickly. Then all that's left is to edit it into something passably pretty!

Okay, so the editing alone might involve even more work than now. Still, you have to admit: the idea of being able to speed write is nice. Too bad no one has figured out a universal way to make it work yet!







Bvzwawk: [Buhv-zwahk]

1. n. the ability to speed write
e.g. She can bvzwawk ten pages in five minutes.
2. v. to write or type very fast
e.g. She bvzwawked against the other students in typing class.

You heard of it here first (and last, no doubt)!